


Reality Bites

by havocthecat



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Eating Brains, Gen, Moira Knows Everything, Yuletide, Yuletide 2013, Zombie AU, Zombies, also I'm sleep deprived, certainly this is not meant to be actual serious horror, it kind of is, my beta said they weren't expecting cute, this gets a little bit slapstick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm Merlyn knows a secret about Oliver. Which he does. He just doesn't know who else it applies to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality Bites

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psychomachia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychomachia/gifts).



> Thanks to Yarns for the beta job! Fic is also posted [here on Dreamwidth](http://havocs-cry.dreamwidth.org/2014/06/10/reality-bites.html).

"Oliver came back from that island changed," said Malcolm. "He's not human. Not any more."

Malcolm Merlyn had lied. He'd relied on manipulation and fear, on intimidation of her and everyone else involved in the Undertaking. Moira knew that, had known it since the moment she'd had her moment of weakness and chosen to take Malcolm to her bed. She was sure he believed Moira didn't get to have a son, not when his had died. Not when Tommy had died and it was his own fault.

"I suppose you're going to tell me he's a vampire," she said. She was icy, like she had been with Malcolm for years, though she had noticed Oliver had changed. He'd become more serious, calmer. Every party he threw felt like a facade, like a way to pretend to be the person he used to. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Moira," said Malcolm, chuckling. He was so condescending, always so superior. "That's not the kind of world we live in. Vampires don't exist. Radiation left over from nuclear bomb testing, however, we've got that."

"Radiation?" Moira pursed her lips. She knew the lines in her brow were furrowing more deeply with every second that Malcolm remained in her home. "Oliver's not sick. Get to the point, Malcolm."

"Your son's a zombie," said Malcolm. "He's hungry. That's why he's so distant. It's a little hard to eat human flesh when you're a celebrity."

"I think you should go," said Moira. She turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. Malcolm would leave. He was trying to intimidate her. Following someone around their mansion and making threatening proclamations wasn't intimidating.

Besides, it was hard to intimidate anyone when they were rummaging around in the refrigerator, looking for a midnight snack. Which was exactly what Moira was going to do, dignity be damned.

"Can't sleep," mumbled Thea, stumbling for the fridge and yanking the door open further. "Hungry."

"I stopped at the butcher's on the way home," said Moira. She moved a white-paper wrapped package out of the way and pulled out a plastic tub. Her mouth watered. Keeping up appearances was so hard. Malcolm had been right about that, at least.

"You got brains?" Thea perked up and swayed over to the counter to pull two forks out of a drawer. "I swear, I nearly ate half my staff at the meeting today."

"Thea, you didn't bite anyone, did you?" asked Moira. She pulled the lid off and snatched a fork out of Thea's hand. "We had enough problems after Oliver bit Laurel. She's adapted remarkably well, don't you think?"

"Can't talk; eating brains." Thea had one hand over her mouth and her fork in the tub already. 

"Thea," said Moira warningly.

"Oh, come on, Roy's got to be really tasty," pouted Thea. "Can't I just go through the back of his skull? No one will notice."

"Fresh brains?" Oliver zoomed through the door and stole the fork out of Thea's hand. "Thank goodness. I was starving."

"Malcolm Merlyn has figured out you're a zombie," Moira told him. She pulled out another fork for Thea. "He thinks it happened on the island."

"He has no idea that the Queens have been zombies for generations, then?" asked Thea. She scooped up another forkful of brains and shoved them into her mouth. Her complexion had been a little bit gray, but she was perking up and her cheeks were nicely rosy now.

"He probably thinks it was the radiation on the island," said Oliver, shrugging. "We'll just have to be extra careful for a while, right?"

"You'll have to warn Laurel," said Moira. She took a tiny forkful of the brains and chewed slowly. The hardest thing about being a zombie was behaving gracefully. Sometimes she'd attend a Queen party and, instead of canapes, all she could think about was which guest had the most succulent flesh or the most tender brains. "Think of what will happen if Malcolm finds out and connects it back to us."

"Whatever, then we just eat him," said Thea. She yanked a napkin out of the holder and scrubbed at her face. "Or we get Laurel and then eat him. She's got to be pissed at him."

"Maybe the vigilante will do something," said Oliver, looking so cheerful that Moira didn't have the heart to tell him that she'd suspected he was the vigilante for ages - you don't have a zombie son without knowing how fast he recovers from every injury. Though she did feel terrible for shooting him. She hadn't realized she'd shot Oliver until too late.

"So, maybe Mom will eat him and leave him dead," said Thea, chasing at the bottom of the bucket. "Or the vigilante will just shoot him with lots of arrows. Right?"

It sounded like the best plan Moira could come up with. She'd be happy with the vigilante taking care of Malcolm if she couldn't do it on her own.

_End._


End file.
